All Grown Up…Sorta

I had to share this, as I think this is absolutely fascinating!  If you’re going to miss out on many things we take for granted (roller coasters, adult clothing, etc.), it’s gotta be pretty cool to miss out based on the fact that you are the tiniest person in the world.  Am I the only one who thinks this is cool?…it may have something to do with my dream of finding a dog that stays a puppy forever.

World’s Shortest Person

~DC Darlin’

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Not quite a New Yorker, but learning the ropes…

Okay, so I’ve officially been living in NYC for 10 days. I say officially because I was doing the commuting/crashing on couch thing for a couple weeks until my lease was ready.  There is a reason for this. I got a job!! This is exciting of course, albeit a bit earlier than expected. This has spiraled me into a whirlwind of very quickly taking on the city—but not without a few reflections along the way.  Below are a few things I’ve pondered, noticed, discovered and discussed so far along the way.

1.  The trash in this city–Don’t take that the wrong way, NYC is suprisingly a VERY clean city.  But it is amazing the amount of trash generated in this city. I get it, there are a gazillion people jammpacked into a small space, but  WOW! I’m telling you, if you don’t see the need to recycle then take a stroll down any street on trash day and think about where ALL OF THAT TRASH is going to go. And stay. Forever.

2. Don’t be fooled by the zilliongazillion cabs in this city, you still aren’t guaranteed to get one.  Certainly not at shift change. Oh no, NO ONE works the shift change. Shouldn’t the new shifters come on a little earlier just to cover the basis? Apparently not. And if its raining, just stop whining and walk it, you’ll get there faster and dryer than if you wait for a cab.

3. You can walk a long way when you’re terrified of the subway.  Why are there no maps in the stations? There are in major stations, but no guarantee.  Add in the fact that it all looks like goobldeglop to me anyway and you can see why I walk.  I’m learning. Hubstop rocks though.

4. Rent Control. I’ll say no more, but pick up on my annoyance.

5. McDonald’s delivers. Is this even possible? A fast, fast, fast, fast food. Imagine the caloric intake considering you don’t even have to WALK to get your food.

6. Time Warner is the devil.  I apologize to Comcast for hating it so much.

7. Duane Reed—what the hell is Duane Reed? And where is CVS???

8.  The amazing selection of restaurants. On ever corner. Of every street. Its overwhelming, but I’m so excited to explore.

9. How freaking cool is it that so many amazing things are one or two blocks away from my apt!?!?! (Sorry, I’m not over this one yet)

10. There are no buttons to push to cross the street. They just assume that a million ppl are waiting to cross so its automatic. Smart I know, but I feel like I’m doing something if I can incessantly push a button until it changes. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve smacked a pole out of habit.

Bonus 11. Sample sales. *le sigh*

That is my top 11 for today…I have a running list of ‘observations’ and I’ll post more soon. Night!!!

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Closing the Door on the Summer of Bad News

Being in DC has provided, among other things, an outlet for the “need to know now and before everyone else” side of me to grow and thrive like wildfire in Southern Cal. DC is such a fast-paced, news-centric city and this Southern extrovert can’t help but get sucked into the madness. For instance if you rode with me to work every morning you’d likely be listening to C-SPAN radio, as it provides a thorough commentary from guests that, in many cases, are making legislation just an arms-throw away from me (I still find this so awesome even after two years of living here.  Yes, I am aware that this incredibly nerdy.)

Another news-junkie action I promptly enacted upon moving to DC was enabling my FireFox browser with RSS feeds from CNN.com, as well as signing up for Breaking News emails to come directly to my Outlook.  So not only can I peruse the latest headlines at a nano-second’s notice, but I also know the late breaking news before everyone!!!! (insert BWAHAHAHA here). And of course by everyone I mean anyone less of a dork than me. Luckily though, there are many out there, ignorant to the vital information that they need to know, and that I, the news junkie, can provide.

What I did not anticipate when I began my swift decline into media madness, however, was 2009’s incredibly dismal summer of bad news! Between Michael Jackson, Jon & Kate, murders of parents with 8 kids in the house, and psychos hiding children in their backyards for decades, this summer has been an insane wealth of unbelievably bad news. Last week, after catching myself being sucked in by a horrific story about a couple of kids in the UK who nearly mutilated other neighborhood children (don’t go searching for it, it isn’t worth it), I finally decided enough was enough. I was ending the summer of bad news.

Now, I didn’t go as far as to remove my CNN feeds (although I thought about it). But I DID actually subscribe to another…allow me to introduce you to HappyNews.com! HappyNews finds the GOOD stuff going on around the world and puts it in one place so you don’t have to sift through the sicko junk to find it. I decided to now go to HappyNews for my ‘fix’ and only open CNN for legit information (and ‘legit’ does not include herrendous murders, sicko kidnappers, etc.).  There are so many great things happening every single day, and I hope to make a habit of becoming a junkie about these stories, as opposed to the media shockers that can so easily suck me in.  So on top of an incredible Alabama football team, my new consumption of good news should lead to a Fall of Joyful Elation.

smiley-face

~DC Darlin’

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Tarantino, the true “Basterd” of dark comedy

Last night Mr. PC and I finally ventured out to see Tarantino’s latest “Inglourious Basterds,” a film we’ve greatly anticipated and painfully endured commentary by our friends who made it to the theater before us. I must say the wait, no matter how painful it was, was worth it.

There are two types of movie-goers these days: those who like Tarantino, and those who don’t.  I happen to be quite the fan.  I consider myself an ‘surprised fan’ because frankly I had no interest at all in his gory display of cinema roll until Mr. PC sat me down on a rainy Saturday and introduced me to “Kill Bill, Vols. 1 &2.”  I admit that at times I must cover my eyes, because I do get squeamish with blood and guts, but the overall plot lines are sometimes worth it.  For those of you who don’t know, his latest, starring none other than our heavenly-sent star Brad Pitt, is a historical inaccuracy take on Nazi Germany.  Originally meant to be a western (pay attention and you will certainly pick up on this), Tarantino portrays his own, unique idea (perhaps desire) as to what really ended the war and reign of “The Fuhrer.”  And man wouldn’t it have been something if that really was the ending.  Tarantino takes a daring shot at a big, fat ‘F*$& YOU” (southern belles don’t use profanity) to Nazi Germany.  And boy was it GLORIOUS.  His wit and humor play throughout and humanize a dark period in our history books.  Pitt shines as a slow talking southerner (southernfried!) who uses his Apache roots to take on the Nazi party with gorilla military tactics—even so much as obtaining scalps as trophies.  Despite his mass popularity and dashing, drooling, dream-every-night-worthy good looks, Pitt is brilliant, never breaking character and really personifying a passionate, perpetual hate for Nazis and those who stain our history.

Perhaps the most convincing (=brilliant) role was played by Christoph Waltz as “Hans Lander,” or affectionately (or not) nicknamed “The Jew Hunter.”  Originally set to star Leonardo DiCaprio as Lander, Waltz delivers a performs that is so convincing I found my fist tensed in several cases and truly, with all my heart, hated his guts from start to finish.  He is the Reese Witherspoon of Election, the Rachel McAdams of Mean Girls and all those nasty biOtches who take on the silver screen—and he’s a damn good actor. Tarantino even quips that Lander just might be his best character ever written—and I can imagine he is patting himself on the back for his casting.

Other, more familiar faces include: Diane Kruger, as a clumsy-but-trying-to-help actress/spy; Mike Meyers, a commissioner to the grand finale; B.J. Novak of The Office!; among others.  A performance not to be forgotten is that of Melanie Laurent, who plays the owner of a humble cinema and a Jewish French woman on the run. She has changed her name and banished her Jewish roots out of need for survival.

I could talk for hours, but I won’t b/c the box offices might sue me.  So take my word for it, go see it. You will not be sorry. If anything, it gives hope for a better humanity.  We need to remember our blemishes as humans, even if they are hurtful and scary—it will force us to evolve past our heathen beginnings.  And of course, it stars Brad Pitt. 🙂

Inglourious_Basterds_poster

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Love, Big Apple Belle

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Love is no joking matter…unless of course its on reality TV

Reality TV on trial again as ‘Megan Wants a Millionaire’ is canceled

I just stumbled upon the above headline and have to say that I’ve had enough (the fact that this guy is wanted for murder is the icing on the cake here).  I will be the first to admit that I enjoy crappy reality TV as much as the next person. However, I do not and have not ever taken any of the gazillion reality ‘let’s find you true love’ shows seriously (not even the one couple that is seemingly a success–Trista & Ryan).  My comment here is: Love is such a delicate and serious matter that it begs the question— is it wrong of us as a society to make a mockery of it with a cheap reality competition??? Reality’s answer: YES!

reality-tvI can see that The Bachelor and The Bachelorette at least TRY to make an effort so that it seems somewhat legit, but let’s be honest, just HOW successful can ‘true love’ be when it develops over 2 weeks in some lavish resort in front of a parade of cameras. Exactly.  And let’s not even discuss the not-so-reality-for-most-of-us shows that lock people in a house with gallons of booze and embarrassing contests.  I am guilty of watching reality TV by way of Project Runway, ANTM and American Idol—but I draw that line at shows that promise to match make. Furthermore, these shows give us unrealistic expectations of “love.”  These men/woman are given studio $$ to present lavish gifts and getaways to create the perfect fairytale–ON CAMERA.  I know that a few years back some might have thought the same of internet dating, but I have since had changed opinions (mostly from attending a few weddings as result of on target virtual matchmaking)—but people, let’s face reality, LOVE isn’t something to be found on a by-the-budget-for-seasonal-ratings contestant show.  Love is a battlefield, not a studio set. 🙂

-Big Apple Belle

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We’ll Post Soon…

Just reaching out to let you know that we both do still have heartbeats!  Big Apple Belle has been on a road trip (which included stopping by to visit me!), and quite honestly work has been so crazy that I have avoided looking at a computer after work hours.  But soon enough we’ll both be back with our usual Southern rants…so stay tuned!

~DC Darlin’

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Uncouth Moment of the Week: Dear Alabama, 1925 called. They want their ass backwards legislation back. Thanks, ~DCD

It’s news like this that makes me want to move to Maine.

It seems the state in which I was born and raised (for better or for worse…it’s the latter today) has banned a bottle of wine because its label features a naked nymph. Now, I can’t decide what is more disconcerting: the fact that a wine label derived from a piece of art created in 1895 could be banned from an entire state through legislation created in 2008 or that the Alabama state government is dumb enough to think that wine labeled with a revealing picture is somehow more libationary than wine labeled with any other photo.

While there are many things that I love about the South, there are a few that I absolutely loath.  In this case, it is the completely archaic and backwards ideas, poster1opinions and convictions of many narrow-minded individuals who have seemed to congregate and vote each other into office in the lovely region that I call home. How this idiotic bill made it to a law, I’ll never know…I’m almost inclined to think that the state government’s goal in life is to keep the stereotype of Alabama alive in the hearts and minds of the rest of the nation.  Perhaps they’re hoping for some sympathy funds from the Department of Education or something?  “You Alabamians are so incredibly idiotic that we can’t help but direct more funds for education to your state. Perhaps in 10 years, you just may produce legislation that puts you within at least 30 years of the rest of the nation…at least, that’s what we’re hoping.”

Alabama government, news flash: we’re not in 1925. So stop acting like it. We’re intelligent, charming, creative and a ton of fun.  Now, why do you have to make us look like we forgot to turn our watches forward 90 years?!? Get a life and focus on something that matters; God knows there’s enough real issues in the state to warrant much more attention in Montgomery than a damn wine label. Thank heavens that at least Alabama has football…otherwise we’d have nothing to take our attention off of the circus in Montgomery.  September has never looked so good.

~DC Darlin’

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